Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction: “We’ll Take It”
We Arrive. Will We Stay?
November 5, 1995
“We’re About Beer”
May 5, 1996
The President Buys an Ice Cream
May 11, 1996
Too Many Choices
June 9, 1996
First Fall
August 18, 1996
The Big Coat
January 19, 1997
The Lecture Circuit
February 16, 1997
Snow Bowl
November 7, 1997
Hold the Foam
June 14, 1998
Goodbye Newsroom, Hello Classroom
August 27, 1998
The Case of the Disappearing Porch Furniture
August 30, 1998
Freeze!
September 20, 1998
Go! Be! Do!
October 11, 1998
Cooties
October 18, 1998
Images from Kosovo
April 18, 1999
The Provost Was Not Amused
June 13, 1999
Pyropetrics
July 4, 1999
Year of the Ant
September 5, 1999
Lies My Students Tell
October 10, 1999
We Need to Remember
November 14, 1999
Old Eyes
March 26, 2000
Let There Be Laundry
June 18, 2000
Lifeways of the Yard People
July 2, 2000
Naked Run
January 7, 2001
Toss It!
February 18, 2001
Mob Scene
April 1, 2001
When It Rains, It Floods
June 24, 2001
Don’t Expect to Be Bored
August 19, 2001
Back to School and Out the Door
September 2, 2001
Not Quite Business as Usual
September 16, 2001
Nothing But a Pack of Cards
September 23, 2001
The Solace of Routines
September 30, 2001
Little Idiot Children
October 7, 2001
Under a Dark Sky
October 21, 2001
Let Us Commence
May 12, 2002
No Magic Circles
October 6, 2002
Ship of Fuels
October 13, 2002
Questioning Authority
February 9, 2003
Zen and the Art of Driver Training
April 27, 2003
Keeping the Streak Alive
May 18, 2003
Movie Dog’s Last Reel
October 5, 2003
The Brats in the Frats
February 22, 2004
RIP Bop the Movie Dog
June 13, 2004
Welcome to the Diploma Store
February 20, 2005
Things Fall Apart
April 17, 2005
Liberals on the Loose
May 2, 2005
The Invisible Poor
September 11, 2005
Meet the Woo People
October 9, 2005
Leaf Ballet
November 12, 2006
All the Classroom’s a Stage
January 13, 2008
The Flower Within the Flower
May 11, 2008
In Defense of Those Pesky Gen Eds
October 2, 2009
The Pursuit of Liveliness
January 8, 2010
Tow Story
April 16, 2010
Straight from the Lion’s Mouth
May 7, 2010
I’ve Sneezed and I Can’t Get Up
June 11, 2010
Stand-Up Guy Seeks Position
June 25, 2010
Return of the Woo People
August 20, 2010
Must You Go?
November 5, 2010
Football’s Terrible Beauty
November 12, 2010
How to Rein in the Woo People, Part 1
November 19, 2010
How to Rein in the Woo People, Part 2
November 26, 2010
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Drunkenness
March 4, 2011
Secrets of the Woo People Revealed
April 22, 2011
Let the Joyous News Be Spread
May 6, 2011
Noise Essential to Woo Life
September 30, 2011
We Are—Going to Be OK
November 11, 2011
Seeing Something and Saying Something
December 15, 2011
We’ve Got to Get Ourselves Back to the Garden
February 3, 2012
So Many Opinions, So Few Facts
February 10, 2012
THON (Jekyll) vs. State Patty’s (Hyde)
February 17, 2012
The Fumbler and the Furnisher
April 20, 2012
Farewell to the Woo People
May 18, 2012
Things Are Just Peachy Around Here
July 20, 2012
As I Was Saying
June 4, 2014
Greetings from Zombie Nation
October 1, 2014
Welcome to Alt-State College
October 22, 2014
Ten Things to Be Thankful For
November 27, 2014
Who’s Naked Now?
March 24, 2015
Apples vs. Icebergs: Who’s Right?
April 1, 2015
Battle of the Bamboo
May 20, 2015
To Weed, or Not to Weed
July 15, 2015
In Search of the Cure for the Summertime Blues
August 19, 2015
Don’t Be Rattled
September 2, 2015
It’s Wonderful to Be Here, It’s Certainly a Thrill
October 14, 2015